InsaneJournal

Current mood:

morose

In a 'glass is half empty' mood.
I'm feeling like utter shit after work today! My Regional Manager came out to speak with me, to see how things are going. They’re not going very well apparently. She showed me the sales and where we were at after two days, and we were at number 12 on the list, we are usually at #2 by the end of the week! Mondays and Tuesdays aren't very busy; it's not unusual for us to be that slow, and it’s not like we’ve been in that place at this time of other weeks. It's still very shattering to know that that's where we are, and I honestly don't know if Managing what I want to do. I think it would be different if I was coming into a completely new kiosk and staring from scratch. But coming up to manager of a 1st or 2nd placing kiosk in sales and keeping it there is a very daunting task. I like the paper work and keeping things in order, but I just don't want the stress of hitting targets like that. I'm only 20, I really don't need to be worrying about things like that, I quite like being second in charge; where I got to do most of the paper work, keep things in order, helping and motivating staff, but not having to worry about anyone’s targets and budgets but my own. The Regional Manager told me I need to stop worrying about those kinds’ things, so I can’t help but wonder why I was shown those figures then. I would think it would be obviously overwhelming.

One possibility is that I go back to 2IC, do most of the managers tasks still, except for worrying about targets and not having quite so much pressure put on me. My previous manager of the kiosk who is my mum, but didn't get me the job or treats me any better than any other of the staff, and it annoys me something fierce when people think that! is managing a new kiosk, but will probably end up managing both. Mostly being at the new kiosk, while I do most to keep things running at the one I'm at now, but won't have the stress of being responsible for meeting the overall kiosk targets.

I still can't help but think I'm a failure, and this is what I was always worried would happen when I took this position up.

(I post too many unhappy entries; I really am a mostly happy person.)

Edit: Please forgive the complete abuse of commas! I probably should've checked that before posting, I also could edit them... can't quite be bothered enough to do so though. :/